I haven’t written in this blog in over a year.  The reason is because I set unrealistic goals for it/myself and my ability to contribute to it.  I do hope in the future to put all of Charlie’s history here with all the details and have it highly organized.  But I don’t have time for that right now.

In the meantime, I’m just going to start blogging our experiences as we navigate his illnesses/afflictions.  It’s very clear to me he is autistic, and discovering Temple Grandin and her teachings/info recently has driven that home.  I am now committed to doing everything I can to see that he grows up to fulfill every bit of potential he has by basically devoting all my extra time to doing everything I can for him. My basic approach will be WWTGMD?  What Would Temple Grandin’s Mom Do?

I haven’t seen the movie ‘Temple Grandin’ yet, but from the descriptions I’ve read, she was very similar to Charlie as a child. Her mother was advised to put her in an institution, but she refused.  Instead devoting all her energy to tuning in to her child and what she needed.  It seems that one of the biggest successes was to engage, engage, engage!

For me, this doesn’t come naturally. I am a fairly solitary person myself.  And if he is happy playing alone, I am happy working or writing or cleaning or doing something off on *my* own.  So this will have to be a habit I forge – pulling myself out of my own solitude so that I can pull him out of his.

I don’t plan to do exactly what Temple Grandin’s mom did for Temple. I plan to do what Temple Grandin’s mom would do for Charlie. To study and focus and find his strengths and develop them and find his weaknesses and try to build them up.  To really tune in to him and keep trying.

So today he was watching Wheel of Fortune while I was checking my email and reading news online. He was watching *the same episode* over and over again and drawing. So I went to see what he was drawing, and he was drawing the Wheel of Fortune logo. I told him how great it was and asked if he wanted to go do something with me now that he had drawn his picture.  He said no, he wanted to keep drawing. So set about to start over with a fresh piece of paper and start drawing the same thing again. I was watching him and he said, “You don’t have to watch me” in that very serious tone of his.

So I said ok and went back to my office. After thinking about it for a few minutes, I decided maybe something that combined drawing and Wheel Of Fortune would be the game hangman. I was trying to think if he would be able to grasp the game or whether it would frustrate him and set off a tantrum. Then I decided just to try it and stop if he started to get angry.

I went out there and pulled up a chair and got some paper.

I said, “Hey, I have a new game to teach you. Do you want to play?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? It’s kind of like Wheel Of Fortune. It’s called Hangman. Here, I’ll show you.” And I started drawing the gallows (what morbid game, actually) and made 3 dashes for letters.

He said, “No, don’t!”

I thought of stopping, then I said, “It’s only 3 letters. I’ll bet you can figure it out.” And I explained the basics and said, “Just guess one letter.”

He guessed a “T” – which was a great guess!  (The word was ‘cat’.)  Then he guessed two wrong letters. Then the cat jumped up, and I said, “Oh hi, kitty cat!”  Trying to give him a hint.

And he looked at the word and said, “Oh, you know what ends with t…..!!!  CAT!”

So he won. I said, “Yay, good job!”

He was happy but didn’t want to play anymore and wanted me to go back to my office.  So I did and Googled “engaging autistic children” and came across an article that said if you want to engage autistic children, don’t try to get them to do what you want them to do.  Just start doing what they are doing and try to get a dialog or back-and-forth going that way.

So I went  back out there, got some paper and sat down.  He asked what I was doing, and I said I wanted to draw with him. He helped me find a blue crayon, and I started drawing the Wheel Of Fortune logo. He then asked if I could please go in my office and do that.  So I talked to him for a minute about it, but he said he did want me to go, so I did.

About 15 minutes later he came and asked if he could play Luxor 3 on my computer. And I had a brilliant idea. I said, “Let’s see if they have a Wheel of Fortune game for the computer!” And he was very into that. So we found the official game and downloaded it and got it going.

He was very into it, loved its authenticity (he always wants to copy everything exactly), and just jumped right into it. He couldn’t get through the puzzles without a little help from me, so I took that as my “in.” We played several rounds and had lot’s of good communication and shared problem-solving, and he was ready to go do something else.

I thought that was a great success and purchased the full version of the game. It just takes trying until you find whatever works that day. Took 3 tries for 1 success, but I don’t think that’s half-bad. Better than if I just let him isolate, in my opinion.

I know everyone needs time to themselves, especially kids like Charlie. But the hours and hours on end he spends that way at times isn’t good for him, in my opinion. I think engaging in a meaningful way, even if he thinks he doesn’t want to, is going to be key to his growth and fulfilling his potential.